Text 3. HISTORY: Bringing up baby

1. Read the text.

In Colonial days, many Americans believe that children were born with an evil nature and that the naughtiest ones were “infinitely more hateful than vipers”. They were seen as pint-sized adults and dressed accordingly, and the only route to their salvation was thought to be through constant correction with rod or switch. Changes in attitude began to occur when Englishman John Locke’s 1693 book, Some Thoughts Concerning Education, reached the Colonies. Locke was one of the first to suggest that goodness might exist in children, but he too had his puritanical side. Even while advocating that youngsters be allowed to run free in fresh air, for instance, he argued that they should be made to wear “shoes so thin that they might leak and let in water” in order to strengthen youthful constitutions.

Between the times of Locke and Spock, Americans have been offered countless theories on child rearing by writers - from mothers to doctors - whose ideas have been as effective as political upheavals in changing the way we live. Following the Revolution, the country’s new freedoms trickled all the way down to children. No longer were babies regarded as being born bad, rather, parents were seen as key influences in their development. Corporal punishment would remain part of household discipline for quite some time, but parents in the late 18th century were warned not to break a youngster’s will; the child should be led to develop self-control, they were told, “so that his will may be his strong point.”

The new crop of writers on child rearing urged parents to nurture children with tenderness, tolerance, and selective reinforcement of positive behavior. Whereas fathers had previously been judged the proper masters of their offspring, mothers now were judged better able to reach the child’s heart, and so manipulate his behavior for the better.

Turning to a book for advice in the early 1800’s, a mother might find information on such things as bathing a child or teaching good manners. By the second quarter of the century, however, there was a growing list of titles that offered “what to do – if” information and physicians’ advice. When Dr. William P. Dewees published his child-care manual in 1825, he stressed the very modern ideas of keeping nursing bottles clean and keeping babies in dry diapers (wet diapers had earlier been thought advantageous for toughening the infant).

By the last decades of the century attitudes toward child rearing had changed completely. Childhood was seen as a golden time, and children deserving of protection against complex adult concerns. Manuals, consequently, became far more permissive in tone than they had been in the past.

Among the most widely read contemporary writers were Catharine Beecher and her sister, Harriet Beecher Stowe, whose book The American Woman’s Home was brimming with maxims. “It is very injurious and degrading to any mind to be kept under the constant fear of penalties,” the sisters warned in the spirit of the day. “Love and hope are the principles that should be mainly relied on, in forming the habits of childhood.”

2. Compare how the childrearing styles have changed since the colonial days.

Text 4. Crime and punishment(by Robert Bridge)

1. The problem of punishment is a stumbling block for many parents. Read the article about it.

ONCE upon a time I walked away from my computer for a few moments, only to return to discover that Baby Bridge had poured Mountain Dew cola onto the keyboard, apparently in the belief that there are cleaning agents in sugar water.

So I casually strolled to my bookshelf where I consulted the invaluable baby manual entitled Whatto Expect — the Toddler Years and looked up ‘Spanking’ in the index. Ah, here we are, page 752, and I quote: “if you’re so angry you want to strike out, move away from your child immediately and find a less vulnerable target for your aggressive feelings — punch a pillow (but not so violently that you frighten your toddler) jog in place, do a set of jumping jacks, take a few race-walk laps around the room. Explain to your toddler, ‘I’m really angry at you right now for doing that. But 1 think I’ll walk around the living room two times so I won’t feel so angry”.

Let me get this straight: I am supposed to condition my baby to dump Mountain Dew on electrical appliances any time she wants to be entertained by Daddy doing jumping jacks in the living room? Not in this lifetime, Heidi Murkoff. I honestly think that people who write baby books only know babies from college text books.

I (tenderly) hurl the book across the room as baby looks at me with tear-filled eyes. Okay, baby, I say, I’m not going to spank you, and I’m certainly not going to exercise for your entertainment, so you’ll have to sit in this chair for five minutes and reflect on your criminal behavior.

So what happens? Baby cries, baby whines, baby wants its freedom back! And I quote baby, ver-baby-batim: “Big ugly American Daddy bad! Me want Russian father!” Oh, baby knows English language too well, it seems, that’ll cost you another 5 minutes in the happy chair, I say (why can a baby sit in a sandbox for 3 hours straight, but they can’t sit in a chair for 5 minutes?).

This is when my Russian wife (who has the best intentions, she really does) walks on stage and reprimands me for making baby cry! Perhaps others will agree that hell knows no greater fury than a Russian mother when her baby is crying. Essentially, what happens is this: baby gets paroled from big, bad Daddy dungeon only to get smothered with loving Momma kisses.

My mind travels back to my strict Catholic upbringing, to the days when parents obeyed the biblical advice: “spare the rod, spoil the child”. Every kid I knew had parents who subscribed to these heavenly words with great enthusiasm. The worst thing my mother could say was: “Wait till your father gets home”. And the wait was the worst part. Then, finally, Dad came home from a hard day at the railroad, strolled to the kitchen, opened the bottom cabinet next to the sink, and got out old hickory. ‘Old Hickory’ was a table leg that I had found one cloudy day in the backyard next to the roses. It was nicely weathered and fit comfortably in the hand. My fellow siblings never forgave me for finding that damn stick.

In defense of my father (Hi, Dad) he never really swung the stick to maim or destroy (actually, the belt hurt far worse), but merely to make us remember our mistake(s), and that there are consequences for our actions. One or two swats where the sun-don’t-shine guaranteed there would be no second offense.

Great, now I sound like a barbarian. I am not condoning (excessive) spanking here; I am just pointing out the differences between moms and dads, and maybe even cultures.

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