Politeness

One maxim that seems universal across all cultures is that of politeness(Brown & Levinson, 1988).Cultures differ, however, in how they define politeness and in how important politeness is compared with, say, openness or honesty. Cultures also differ in the rules for expressing politeness and in the punishments for violating the accepted rules of politeness. Asian cultures, especially Chinese and Japanese, are often singled out because they emphasize politeness more and mete out harsher social punishments for violations than would most people in the United States and western Europe. When this politeness maxim operates, it may actually override other maxims. For example, the maxim of politeness may require that you not tell the truth, a situation that would violate the maxim of quality.

Politeness is important in all forms of interaction, including online as well as face-to-face interactions. Not surprisingly, researchers find that people view polite e-mail users more positively than impolite users.. In general, politeness seems to vary with the type of relationship. One researcher, for example, has proposed that politeness varies among strangers, friends, and intimates.

Politeness and Gender.There are also large gender differences – as well as some similarities – in the expression of politeness. Generally, studies from various different cultures show that women's speech is more polite than men's speech, even on the telephone. Women seek areas of agreement in conversation and in conflict situations more often than men do. Similarly, young girls are more apt to try to modify disagreements, whereas young boys are more apt to express more "bald disagreements". Women also use more polite speech when seeking to gain another person's compliance than men do. There are also gender similarities. For example, in both the United States and New Zealand, men and women seem to pay compliments in similar ways, and both men and women use politeness strategies when communicating bad news in an organization.

Politeness on the Net: The Rules of Netiquette.Not surprisingly, politeness has its own rules in Internet culture. The rules of netiquette are the rules for communicating politely over the Internet. Much as the rules of etiquette provide guidance for communicating in social situations, the rules of netiquette provide guidance for communicating over the Net. These rules, as you'll see, are helpful for making Internet communication easier and more pleasant, facilitating greater personal efficiency, and putting less strain on the system and on other users. Here are several guidelines suggested by computer researchers. A helpful website to help you pursue this topic, with lots of links to a variety of netiquette-related websites, is www.albion.com/netiquette.

■ Read the FAQs. Before asking questions about the system, read the Frequently Asked Questions; your question has probably been asked before, and you'll put less strain on the system.

■ Don't shout. WRITING IN CAPS IS PERCEIVED AS SHOUTING. It's okay to use caps occasionally to achieve emphasis. If you wish to give emphasis without "shouting," underline like _this_ or *like this*.

■ Lurk before speaking. Lurking is reading the posted notices and the conversations without contributing anything; in computer communication, lurking is good, not bad. Lurking will help you learn the rules of the particular group and will help you avoid saying things you'll want to take back.

■ Don't contribute to traffic jams. Try connecting during off-hours whenever possible. If you're unable to connect, try again later, but not immediately. Trying immediately only puts added strain on the system, and you're likely still to be unable to connect. To secure information, try local sources before trying more distant sources; it requires fewer connections and less time. And be economical in using files that may tie up lines for long periods of time, such as photographs.

■ Be brief. Follow the maxim of quantity by communicating only the information that is needed; follow the maxim of manner by communicating clearly, briefly, and in an organized way.

■Treat newbies kindly. You once were new to the Internet yourself.

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