• Гідрологія і Гідрометрія
• Господарське право
• Економіка будівництва
• Економіка природокористування
• Економічна теорія
• Земельне право
• Історія України
• Кримінально виконавче право
• Медична радіологія
• Методи аналізу
• Міжнародне приватне право
• Міжнародний маркетинг
• Основи екології
• Предмет Політологія
• Соціальне страхування
• Технічні засоби організації дорожнього руху
• Товарознавство продовольчих товарів

I. MARK TWAIN AND THE GAME WARDEN

Once Mark Twain was fishing. A stranger came along and asked him, "Are you catching any fish?"

"I caught fifteen trout in this stream yesterday," Mark Twain said.

"Is that so?" said the stranger. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"No," said Mark Twain.

"Well, I am the game warden of this county," answered the stranger. "And trout are out of season."

Mark Twain thought a while. Then he asked, "By the way, do you know who I am?"

"No," replied the game warden.

"Well, I am the biggest liar in this county," said Mark Twain.

II. TIME WORKS WONDERS

Once a man went to a restaurant. "Bring me a regular three course dinner," he ordered the waiter, a very young lad. Time passed, but the lad with the dinner didn't appear. "How long shall I have to wait?" wondered the customer. At that moment the boy came running in with a plate of soup on

a tray: "Are you the very lad from whom I ordered a three course dinner?" asked the customer, both hungry and cross. "Yes, sir, I am," answered the waiter. "Dear me!" exclaimed the hungry customer. "I don't recognize you! You have grown quite a man since that time."

III. AN AUTOMOBILE STORY

An American who was going by car through the country saw in front of him a man followed by a dog. As the car drew nearer the dog suddenly started to cross the road. The poor animal was hit by the car and killed.

The American stopped his car and approached the man. "I am very sorry that this has happened," he said. "Will ten dollars be enough?"

"Oh, yes," said the man, "ten dollars will be quite enough!" The man put the money in his pocket and as the car disap­peared in the distance, he looked down at the dead animal and thought: "I wonder whose dog it was."

IV. BAD MANNERS

Mother says to her little daughter: "Jessy, don't interrupt me. Haven't I told you time and again not to interrupt when your elders are talking but wait until they stop?"

"I have been waiting for so long, Mummy," says Jessy, "but you never stop talking!"

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