A VERY DANGEROUS INVENTION

A step-ladder is a thing most useful to people who are moving into a new house. The servant finds it extremely convenient when they have to wash the windows, to remove the dust from the door and window-frames, and to perform many other household duties; but the master of the house will need it when he hangs his pictures, when he fixes the curtains and when he is asked by his wife to hang a shelf or two in the cellar.

I would, however, warn my countrymen against the thing which is offered to them under the name of Patent Combination Step-ladder. I bought one in the city just before we moved, because the shop assistant showed me how, by a simple operation of a set of springs, the ladder could be changed into an ironing-table, and from that into a comfortable settee for the kitchen, and finally back into a step-ladder, if the owner wished. It seemed very tempting to buy three things for a single price. So I bought it, but I soon discovered that it was not so useful as I had expected it to be.

On the day of its arrival, the servant used the ladder to remove the globes from a chandelier in the parlour, but while she was busy doing that work the springs unexpectedly began to move, and the machine was changed into an ironing-table, while the maid-servant was thrown down on the floor and lay there with a sprained ankle among the fragments of two globes broken into pieces.

After this unfortunate accident we decided to use the apparatus only as an ironing-table. Probably the thing would have remained an ironing-table, if it had been suitable for this purpose. On the following Tuesday, however, while half a dozen shirts were lying upon it ready to be ironed, someone passed by and knocked against it accidentally. It gave two or three threatening jerks, tore two shirts into rags, hurled the iron out into the yard, and after a few convulsive movements of the spring quietly took the shape of a step-ladder.

Then it became evident that it could with a greater safety be as a settee, and it was placed in the kitchen in that shape. For a few days we heard no more about it. It gave much satisfaction. But one night, when the servant had company, the bench was perhaps overloaded, for it had another and most alarming paroxysm; there was a trembling of the legs, then a tremendous jump, and one of the visitors was hurled against the range, while the machine turned several somersaults and appeared once more in the shape of an ironing-table.

It has now become so sensitive that goes through the entire drill very quickly if anyone comes near it or coughs or sneezes close at hand. We keep it in the garret and sometimes in the middle of the night a rat will come across the floor or a current of air will pass through the room, and we can hear it dancing over the floor and taking the shape of a ladder, a bench and a table fifteen or twenty times in quick succession.

We are willing to sell the machine for a very small sum. It might be a valuable addition to the collection of some good museum. I am sure that it will be more useful as a curiosity than a thing used for housework.

by Max Adeler

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