COMPETENCE

Your ability to communicate effectively is your interpersonal competence. For example, your competence includes the knowledge that in certain contexts and with certain listeners one topic is appropriate and another is not. Knowledge about the rules of nonverbal behavior 0 for example, the appropriateness of touching, vocal volume, and physical closeness – is also part of your competence. In short, interpersonal competence includes knowing how to adjust your communication according to the context of the interaction, the person with whom you are interacting, and a host of other factors.

You learn communication competence much as you learn to eat with a knife and fork – by observing others, by explicit instruction, by trial and error, and so on. Some have learnt better than others, though, and these people are generally the ones with whom you find it interesting and comfortable to talk. They seem to know what to say and how to say it.

Not surprisingly there is a positive relationship between interpersonal competence on the one hand and success in college and job satisfaction on the other. So mu7ch of college and professional life depends on interpersonal competence – from meeting and interacting with other students, teachers, or colleagues; to asking and answering questions; to presenting information or argument – that you should not find this connection surprising. Interpersonally competent [people also suffer less from anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Interpersonal competence enables you to develop and maintain meaningful relationships, which help reduce anxiety and depression that may come from fear of not having friendships and love relationships.

By improving your competence, you will have a greater number of options available to you. It is much like learning vocabulary: the more words you know, the more ways you have for expressing yourself. This interdependence of theory and skills goes like this:

Knowledge of interpersonal communication

leads to

greater interpersonal competence

leads to greater number of available choices or options for interacting

leads to greater likelihood of interpersonal effectiveness.

Joseph A. DeVito

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