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Text № 33

Why fathers want to look after the baby (yes, really)

One of the most extensive surveys of fathers has now shown that, far from the stereotype, most men would like to share childcare duties with their partners or wives.

The survey made by the Equal Opportunities Commission shows a modern type of father: the New Dad. He takes part in day-to-day childcare and does not mind helping with the vacuuming and washing-up - if only when his partner asks him to. The EOC interviewed sixty-four fathers and their partners about their home and work life. Most fathers agreed that it was important to 'be there' for their children for key events such as school sports day, their first appearance in the school play and for at least one meal a day. Many agreed that parenting classes would be a good way to give them more confidence around the home.

Based on the survey results, four types of fathers were defined, from the traditional type of dad to the perfect New Dad, who is as much involved in taking care of the children as the mother. The survey found that the majority of men were somewhere between these two types.

In the first category comes Enforcer Dad, the old-fashioned disciplinarian who does not see himself as involved in the day-to-day care of his children. He sees his responsibilities as setting clear limits for them and being a role model. Most fathers do not see this as their only role.

The two biggest categories are Entertainer Dad and Useful Dad. Entertainer Dad is at his best keeping his children laughing while his partner gets on with household chores and arranging the children's school and extra activities. Useful Dad is willing to help out around the house, even though he expects the mother to be the 'team leader' in all domestic things.

Finally, and probably every woman's dream, is Fully Involved Dad. He is equally engaged in running the home and the family, and sees the role of the father and the mother as practically identical. Fully Involved Dads adjust their work arrangements to their partners' professional duties. 'I do have definite childcare commitments,' said one father in this category. 'There are certain times or occasions where it is non-negotiable and I just leave the office on time.'

Julie Melior, chairwoman of the EOC, said that fathers were still not given enough flexibility at work and mothers would feel fully supported only if employers treated (and paid) both sexes equally. 'Mums and dads should be able to choose how they want to share the responsibilities of bringing up children and working outside the home: she said. 'But until we have equal pay, decent childcare and more opportunities to work flexible hours, many fathers will continue to find it hard to be there for their children and many women will continue to be disadvantaged at work. This is not necessarily the best solution for parents, children or employers. Equality at work or home depends on both mums' and dads' family responsibilities being acknowledged: Melior said.

 




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