Parking

«Tell me», said the policeman, «why did you park here»?

The driver answered respectfully, «Because, you see, here is a sign ‘Fine for parking’».

Boxing

Old Tom was telling his grandson, Jack, about his days as a Golden Gloves contestant.

Tom: The bell rang and we met in the center of the ring. First he threw a left cross, then a right cross.

Jack: And what happened then?

Tom: Then came a Red Cross. But by the third round I had my opponent worried.

Jack: Really?!

Tom: You bet. He thought he killed me.

I’ve had three wives, six children, six grandchildren, and I still don’t understand women.

John Wayne

Men don’t understand anything about women and women understand nothing about men. And it’s better that way.

Vittorio Gassman

I prefer the company of women. I’m buzzed by the female mystique.

Cuddling

Cuddling in the front seat of the car, Tom asked his date, «You don’t shrink from kissing, do you?» Judy replied, «If I did, I’d be awfully small by now».

Confession

«Becky», said the bedridden man. «I can’t die without telling you how rotten I have been. I stole one million bucks from the company, made an additional million by selling secrets to our competitors, and what’s more I fired the accountant since I knew he was your lover».

«Don’t worry about that», sighed Becky, «I’m the one who poisoned you».

Risk

Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.

Ray Bradbury

They who lose today may win tomorrow.

Miguel De Cervantes

And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong

Doubt

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure* and the intelligent full of doubt.

B. Russel

*cocksure – very self-confident

Minidictionary

State-of-the-art – Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete – Any computer you own.

Floppy – The state of your wallet after purchasing your computer.

Microseconds – The time it takes for your state-of the art computer to become obsolete.

Keyboard – The standard way to generate computer errors. An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Mail

A blonde went to her mail box many times. Her neighbor noticed it. «Are you waiting for a special delivery?» asked he. «No», she replied «my computer keeps telling I have a mail».

Hard work

The businessman came home absolutely exhausted. «My dear», asked his wife, «you must have had a hard day». «It was terrible», answered her husband, «our computer broke down and we had to do our own thinking».

If Restaurants Function Like Microsoft

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Real-Time Communication	\|	Characters: Client, Waiter Bill

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