The Death Car (American in Moscow)

Being a pedestrian in Moscow is a dangerous occupation these days. The vehicles are getting bigger, faster and noticeably more German. It is not uncommon to see them racing down sidewalks, blaring their horns at kids and old grannies to get out of the way.

Joke: Why do Russian cars come with a reverse gear? In case the driver misses you the first time.

Many of Moscow’s cars are fitted with flashing blue sirens, yet they have no legitimate police function. Still, a blue siren means that the driver has the automatic right to drive down the median strip, speed through red lights and generally break every rule of the road. The blue siren is the ultimate status symbol; it means: I drive with diplomatic impunity, get the hell out of my way. The police dutifully stop other cars for these privileged vehicles.

This is a whole new concept for most Americans, who generally live in fear of the highway patrol. Whenever we see a big, fat police cruiser rolling down the road we get sweaty palms, apply the brakes and faithfully use our turn signals. Seat-belts are fastened. We smile like good citizens who wouldn’t dream of driving with a mobile in one hand, a Big Mac in the other and a fag hanging from the lip. American cops are never around when the really big crimes are happening, yet they always notice your burned-out tail light or expired inspection sticker.

Reckless driving is certainly no joke. Traffic accidents were the main subject at the World Health Organization. The WHO has just released a very disturbing report: 1.2 million people die in car crashes every year. By the year 2020, the third highest cause of death in the world will come from car accidents. Last year, 41,000 people were killed in car crashes in Russia.

This is the equivalent of almost twenty 9/11 catastrophes, or a major war, yet few people give this slaughter much thought. The deaths happen daily, almost imperceptibly, like a disease.

There is a solution to this turbocharged madness: I would like to suggest that we all get back in the saddle. Yes, that’s right, horses worked perfectly fine for 2000 years or so; they might still work now. We should give up our crazy dependence on the internal combustion engine and ride horses again. Think of the problems this would solve. We could get rid of the cumbersome hunks of steel, the expensive monthly payments and the annoying car alarms. OPEC would go out of business and the U.S. army would pull out of Iraq. America would stop snooping around the Middle East like some drug addict searching for its next oil injection.

The greatest cause of modern wars would expire. Russia would be forced to diversify its oil economy. We could stop carving up the wildlife in the futile effort to accommodate the endless traffic jams. The air quality would improve. Global warming would stop. Mankind would eventually get back to a more natural existence. Cowboys would be cool again. Crime rates would go down. The rapid pace of life would decrease. Chivalry would come back in style.

Of course, there would be the question of where to park all those horses in the center of Moscow.

II. Look through the text again and answer the following questions:

1. Why is it dangerous to be a pedestrian nowadays?

2. What does a blue siren on the car mean?

3. What is in your opinion “reckless driving”?

4. What does the author of the article suggest as a solution to the “turbocharged madness”?

5. What in your opinion should be done to avoid so many traffic accidents nowadays?

III. Match the words with their definitions and make up your own sentences with these words:

1. pedestrian a) an unforeseen event that occurs by chance;

2. occupation b) denoting or associated with horse races;

3. accident c) the process of burning;

4. vehicle d) a regular course of action;

5. racing e) pavement or footpath;

6. highway f) the act or process of solving a problem;

7. combustion g) a person, traveling on foot, walker;

8. rule h) a main road that connects towns or cities;

9. sidewalk i) any convenience by which people are transported;

10. solution j) a person’s regular work, job or activity;

IV. Read the following statements and discuss them with a partner:

1. Many of modern cars are fitted with flashing blue sirens, yet they have no legitimate police function.

2. The vehicles are getting bigger, faster and it is not uncommon to see them racing down sidewalks.

3. By the year 2020, the third highest cause of death in the world will come from car accidents.

4. We all should “get back in the saddle”.

Giving your opinion you may find the following expressions helpful:

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