Five Conflict Styles

This figure is adapted from Blake and Mouton's (1984) approach to managerial leadership and conflict. Try to locate your usual conflict style on this grid. How well does this style work for you?

■ Accommodating: In accommodating you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of the other person. Your major purpose is to maintain harmony and peace in the relationship or group. This style may help you achieve the immediate goal of maintaining peace and perhaps may satisfy the other person; but it does little to meet your own needs, which are unlikely to go away This style represents an I lose, you winphilosophy.

■ Collaborating:In collaborating you focus on both your own and the other person's needs. This style, often considered the ideal, takes time and a willingness to communicate, and especially a readiness to listen to the perspectives and needs of the other person. Ideally, this style of conflict resolution results in each person's needs being satisfied, an I win, you winsituation.

■Compromising: The compromising style is in the middle; there is some concern for your own needs and some concern for the other's needs. It's the kind of strategy you might refer to as "meeting each other halfway," "horse trading," or "give and take." Compromising is likely to help you maintain peace but to involve some dissatisfaction over the inevitable losses that have to be endured. It results in an I win and lose and you win and lose outcome.

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