ROUTINES AND HEALTH

(by Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg)

(1) By the time a child is five, one might suppose that he should know how to eat. And of course he does, as far as actually getting food into himself goes. But if a household has exacting standards, the child of this age may still fall short. He dawdles, talks too much, may even toward the end of a meal ask to be fed. He wriggles in his chair, though he doesn’t as a rule have to leave the table to go to the bathroom as he did at Four. And most do not fall out of their chairs as they may at Six.

(2) Appetite has usually improved. In fact it is usually quite adequate, though some meals may be better than others. Not all eat three “good” meals a day. But with their interest in finishing things, their normal perseverance, and their wish to do what other people want them to, Fives often manage to clean up their plates, even though it may seem to you as if it is taking forever.

(3) Food preferences are still rather marked. Five likes plain, simple cooking, and may thus like best meat, potatoes, a raw vegetable, milk, and fruit. Gravies, casseroles, puddings, cooked root vegetables, anything complicated or with a strong taste, may be refused. The child especially dislikes stringy and lumpy foods.

(4) Most Fives need little help, unless they are tired or it is the end of a long meal. Most can use a knife for spreading even though they are not yet ready to cut their meat.

(5) Five’s table manners are not yet too polished, but fortunately many parents still do not expect as much as they may in another year. So, often a meal with the whole family can go quite happily. Five still does tend to talk too much and also to talk with his mouth full. There is some spilling. Some at this age will still wear a bib though most prefer a napkin tucked in at the neck. But in general, mealtimes go reasonably well. Five really likes to do what is expected of him, at the table as well as everywhere else.

(6) The typical five-year-old is pretty good about washing his hands before meals, especially if reminded. That is, he does not as a rule think of it himself; on the other hand, he makes no major objection and even does a pretty good job.

(7) A total bath is something else again. He likes his bath and will participate as much as he can, but his abilities are limited.

(8) In fact, the child may be best at cleaning his hands and knees, and he will probably need quite a bit of help with other parts of his body. He may get stuck on one knee, washing it over and over and needing encouragement to shift even to his second knee. Of course, mother still needs to draw the bath water.

(9) So it cannot be said that Five is an accomplished bather, but he is cooperative and enthusiastic, and bath for many can be a pleasant, relaxing occasion. (10) Mothers of Five-year-olds tend to report, “He can but doesn’t.” That is, he has most of the abilities needed, expect for tying shoelaces or buttoning difficult buttons, but he often fails to use even the abilities he has.

(11) Some mothers find that it helps if clothes are laid out singly, in the right order, or on the floor. Otherwise the child is apt to get them on backward.

(12) How much help the mother gives depends, of course, on how skillful the child is, and some Fives do take on quite a bit of responsibility. Some are able to choose two or three days of the week when they will be (mostly) responsible for dressing. Others really prefer to leave much of it up to Mother. Undressing is still easier than dressing.

(13) Regardless of how much responsibility they themselves show about getting garments on and off, few take very good care of their clothes. Even those girls who are clothes-conscious and want to look nice do not yet take good care of their dresses.

(14) For the most part, assuming that your child is of a relatively healthy temperament, his health at this age will be pretty good, except for the communicable diseases he or she may catch. Whooping cough and chicken pox take the lead. Measles, once very prevalent, is now under better control.

(15) Some Fives have only one or two colds a winter in contrast to their greater prevalence at Four and especially at Six. Stomachaches, which are fairly common, may be related to either the too-speedy intake diseases a bib of food or to the need to have a bowel movement, a need that may have been put off too long.

(from “Your Five-year-Old. Sunny and Serene”, Chapter III, pp.18-26)

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