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What people really want for their birthday?

It was my birthday recently and as usual I didn’t get what I really wanted. I usually get a bunch of flowers, a cookery book, box of chocolates and electronic gadgets. My family always ask me what I want, and I always tell them the same thing – I want surprise. So this year I got flowers, a cookery book, chocolates and gadgets.

Flowers are lovely but they hardly ever last for more than a week, and a real present is something you can keep. I always look for the diamond ring hidden in the flowers, but it’s never there.

Cookery books are boring, and I hate getting chocolates because I’m usually on a diet. But women are sensitive and intuitive so they always know the right thing to buy. Right? Wrong.

The big mistake that women make is that they usually buy clothes. They buy clothes because they like them and they want other people to wear the clothes they like. “You always wear dark colours, and I want to change you, so I’m going to buy you a brightly coloured tie or a pair of Mickey Mouse socks”.

This is a big mistake. Men don’t usually want brightly coloured ties or silly socks. The word to remember when you are buying present for a male is gadgets. Men like anything digital, electronic and fun.

For his last birthday, I gave my husband a small torch and a Swiss army knife. He was overjoyed.

It’s very simple. You can’t go wrong if you always remember the “J” word for women (that’s “J” for Jewellery) and the “G” word for men.

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