Glossary

babe-in-arms very small babies

toddler a young child, especially one who is learning or has recently learned to walk

kid a child; a young person (informal)

boyfriend a man or a boy with whom you have a romantic or sexual relationship

pensioner a person who receives a pension

fertility ability to have children

custody the right or duty to for someone or something, especially a child after its parents have separated or died

illegitimate born of parents not married to each other

compound consisting of two or more different parts

Text 2. Problem parents and how to deal with them (By Loiuse Hidalgo)

Lead-in:

§ Give a psychological portrait of a problem parent.

§ What types of problem parents do you know from books, films and your experience?

Now read the text and see if you were right.

What really lies behind parents’ behaviour towards their children? Getting down to basics, here are a few parental profiles to mull over.

1. Parents who were neglected as children themselves often overcompensate by smothering their own offspring with too much attention .When a budding adult is preparing to leave home, their endless dictums about how to behave, how to dress and how-to live may also in fact mask a very real need on the part of the parents to remain involved in their children’s lives. Emotions can really run high when it comes tothat most delicate of subjects — sex. Mixed with the sense of loss at seeing their little child transformed into a nubile or virile-young adult can be eddies of envy of their youth and vitality.

2. Then there are the 60s parents, liberal and carefree. They probably wouldn’t mind if you don’t come home at all, let alone late at night. All well and good, or so you may feel, but it can sometimes be quite consoling to know that someone is waiting at home, worrying about where you are. These kinds of parents often behave like this because they remember themselves, often from bitter experience, how awful it is to have over-strict parents who want to know your every move or lay down the law at every opportunity. In rarer-cases, though, the lenience masks indifference and a wish not to get involved. Or perhaps the parents are insecure, and so cut themselves off from any emotional reliance to avoid the terrifying possibility of rejection.

3. Table-thumping, rule-laying parents who won’t allow anyone to disagree or disobey sometimes; unfortunately, just enjoy the sense of power. At other times, though, exercising their parental muscle allows them to unload all their own frustrations and thwarted ambitions on to you. They didn’t get the promotion at work they were expecting; they’re worried financially; they feel they haven’t achieved in life what they should have done and now it is too late. Often the temptation to use the family as a sounding-board for all this frustration is just too great.

4.Ever feel you can’t do anything right however hard you try? Well, don’t automatically think the fault lies with you. Itcould be that there are other factors at work behind that disapproving look. These parents may be_: feeling insecure. They may be lacking in self-esteem. The stresses and strains of everyday life can play straight into any cracks in confidence and come tumbling out as criticism and irritability. If you’re the nearest object to hand, get out of the way fast. And then, there’s the undercurrent of envy. Most parents want only the best for their children, as they probably continually tell you. But when they are feeling unhappy with themselves, when they see their own youth, vitality, even sexuality slipping away, the urge to diminish someone else’s youth can be irresistible. So they may put you down because they find it difficult to cope with their own sense of loss or unhappiness.

5. Everyone goes through fits of depression from time to time, and everyone copes with it in different ways. Some people curl up into a mental and emotional cocoon and don’t want to let anyone near. Some people, in contrast, want everyone to know about it. You need advice about a problem and you wouldn’t mind some loving support too. But when you approach your parent the response is dismissive, or unreasonably angry. This could just be that they are preoccupied with feeling down and don’t have much loving support to spare. So why not just back off for a while and leave them to cope? Families are real power-houses of emotions. When something goes wrong with one part of the balance, such as the marriage, the situation can be highly charged and it is difficult, however hard parents try, to keep it under wraps. And when it’s a case of one parent trying to hold on to the marriage, it can be very difficult not to draw the rest of the^: family into the fray. Parents may unload all their grievances, hurt and rejection onto die children, smothering them with affection and drawing them closer to fill the emotional gap. They may try to exclude the other parent from the relationship, as if to punish or make them jealous. Sometimes, though, this bitterness can be directed at the child, not because of anything they have done or said, but as an outlet for all that pent-up pain.

Tasks

<== попередня сторінка	\|	наступна сторінка ==>
Vocabulary.	\|	Comprehension

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