Exercise 1.

Give titles to the very short stories given below and then try to see which function(s) they perform.

A sick man went to doctor he hadn’t visited before. As he entered the office, he noticed a sign: “$20 first visit, $10 subsequent visits”. To save a few bucks, he greeted the doctor by saying, “Nice to see you again”. The doctor nodded his hello, then began the exam, his expression turning grave as he poked and prodded the ill man.

“Doc, what is it?” the patient asked. “What should I do?”

“Well,” the doctor said, setting his stethoscope down. “Just keep doing the same thing I told you to do last time you were here.”

A man died and went to hell. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw his town’s most notorious lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful model. “This is so unfair,” the man bellowed to the devil. “I have to roast and suffer for all eternity, and that sleazy lawyer gets to spend it with her?”

“Silence!” the devil demanded, jabbing his trident at the man. “You must pay your penance, and the model must pay hers!”

III

Pulling over a car full of nuns because they were travelling so slowly, a police officer asked the driver why she couldn’t go faster. “But, officer,” the nun replied, “all the signs read ‘25.’”

“Sister,” the cop replied, “that’s the route number, not the speed limit.”

“Gee, I guess that explains why the others were screaming earlier,” the nun admitted.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well,” the nun answered, “we just got off Route 128.”

Read the short story and answer the questions that follow it.

Gr. Greene

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